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How to use Bern drivers to communicate and negotiate effectively across cultures

⦁ Be perfect ; Strive for excellence.
⦁ Make pleased ; Have fun, Embrace the thrill.
⦁ Make an effort ; Give it your all.
⦁ Be strong ; Harness your inner strength.
⦁ Hurry up ; Don’t linger; accelerate!

In a world of endless noise and ceaseless change, finding your unique voice and standing out is not just a choice but an imperative for those who seek to make a lasting impact.

Balance your drivers, be mindful of their impact, and take care of yourself. Each driver has its own strengths and weaknesses, and may affect how you communicate and negotiate with others.

To use bern drivers in international negotiations, you need to be aware of your own dominant driver and how it affects your negotiation style. You also need to understand the drivers of the other party and how they may differ from yours. By doing so, you can adapt your communication and negotiation strategies to suit their needs and preferences, and avoid misunderstandings or conflicts.

Be perfect ; Strive for excellence

• Origin: “You can always do better,” “It’s good, but I know you can do even more,” “I expected greatness from you,” “This work is subpar; you could have pushed harder.”
  
  
• Meaning and Belief: Perfection is the ultimate goal in all your endeavors.
  
  
• Behavior: Seeking control over every aspect, a fear of overlooking even the smallest detail, and sometimes displaying extreme meticulousness. Adept at administration and auditing, but often focuses on flaws rather than successes and rarely delegates tasks.
  
  
• Consequences: Excessive control consumes time, struggles with prioritization, sets impossibly high standards, and may miss opportunities. Constantly haunted by the fear of failure and frequently dissatisfied with oneself and others. Tends to be intolerant of criticism while being highly critical of others. Can become inflexible and rigid, imposing their own rules.
  
  
• Tips : Strive for excellence, but not perfection. Recognize that mistakes are inevitable and learn from them. Don’t compare yourself to others or set unrealistic standards. Celebrate your achievements and appreciate what is working well.
  
  
• Are you a Be Perfect ? Answer these questions :
  • How do you feel when you have to complete a task or project that requires a lot of precision or detail? Do you prefer to have more perfection or less perfection in your work? How do you communicate your standards and expectations to others? How do you cope with people who have a different level of perfection than you?
  • How do you deal with feedback or criticism from others? Do you seek it or avoid it? Do you take it personally or constructively? How do you give feedback or criticism to others? Do you focus on the positive or the negative aspects of their work?
  • How do you balance your work and life? Do you tend to work long hours or have a regular schedule? Do you enjoy your work or feel stressed by it? How do you manage your time and resources? Do you prioritize quality or quantity?

Make pleased ; Have fun, Embrace the thrill

• Origin: “Don’t be selfish,” “Be kind, I’m drained,” “Think of others more,” “You’re causing me pain,” “You’re not being very nice.”
  
  
• Meaning and Belief: Kindness, devotion, and attentiveness to others are essential to earn their esteem and be considered good.
  
  
• Behavior: Strives to please others even at personal expense, finds it challenging to say “no” for fear of being unpleasant, and avoids disappointing others. Fits well within a team but does not take leadership roles.
  
  
• Consequences: Easily overwhelmed by others, quick to apologize excessively, and often sacrifices personal needs for the desires of others. Can become overly intrusive, always offering help even when it’s not requested. Struggles with confrontation and decision-making if it might affect others. Prone to emotional dependence.
  
  
• Tips: Be kind, but not at the expense of your own needs and values. Learn to say “no” when necessary and set healthy boundaries. Express your opinions and feelings honestly and respectfully. Seek balance between giving and receiving.
  
  
• Are you a Make Pleased ? Answer these questions :
  • How do you feel when you have to work or socialize with people who have different interests or tastes than you? Do you prefer to have more variety or less variety in your activities? How do you express your preferences and desires to others? How do you accommodate people who have a different level of variety than you?
  • How do you approach new or unfamiliar situations? Do you embrace them or resist them? Do you see them as opportunities or threats? How do you cope with uncertainty or ambiguity? Do you rely on intuition or logic?
  • How do you reward yourself or others for a job well done? Do you celebrate or move on? Do you indulge or restrain yourself? How do you motivate yourself or others to perform better? Do you use incentives or penalties?

Make an effort ; Give it your all

• Origin: “Don’t settle for what you have; work hard,” “You don’t deserve praise; it was easy,” “Fully commit when you do something,” “Don’t be content with mediocrity,” “Is there nothing more you can do?”
  
  
• Meaning and Belief: Demonstrating relentless effort is crucial. Persistence and determination ultimately lead to success.
  
  
• Behavior: Highly committed and willing to expend significant energy on projects. Dislikes what’s considered “easy” or “obvious” and often opposes it. Believes that achievement should involve overcoming challenges, not just obtaining results.
  
  
• Consequences: Actively diligent, enjoys pushing boundaries, recognizes and supports others’ efforts to excel. Tends to be harsh on those perceived as “lazy,” devaluing their achievements. May complicate tasks unnecessarily to make them appear more challenging or blame failures on external factors or others.
  
  
• Tips: Work hard, but not too hard. Prioritize your tasks and focus on the most important ones. Take breaks and rest when you need to. Delegate or ask for help when you can. Reward yourself for your efforts and enjoy the process.
  
  
• Are you a Make an Effort ? Answer these questions :
  • How do you feel when you have to work on a task or project that requires a lot of effort or dedication? Do you prefer to have more effort or less effort in your work? How do you communicate your effort and commitment to others? How do you deal with people who have a different level of effort than you?
  • How do you measure your performance or success? Do you use objective or subjective criteria? Do you compare yourself with others or with yourself? How do you handle failure or disappointment? Do you learn from it or ignore it?
  • How do you manage your energy and resources? Do you plan ahead or improvise? Do you allocate them wisely or wastefully? How do you replenish them when they are depleted? Do you rest or keep going?

Be strong ; Harness your inner strength

• Origin: “Big boys don’t cry,” “Show your true self,” “Courage is essential in life,” “Life is a battle; you must win it,” “Stop complaining and fight.”
  
  
• Meaning and Belief: Projecting strength and self-sufficiency while guarding against vulnerability is vital. Life is a struggle, and victory is the only option.
  
  
• Behavior: Results-oriented, conceals emotions, even positive ones, and maintains a stoic facade. Believes in self-reliance, autonomy, and has a high tolerance for pressure. Resists seeking help and may look down on those who do.
  
  
• Consequences: Avoids showing vulnerability, viewing emotional expression as a sign of weakness. Can be demanding on oneself and others, seeking dominance to conceal perceived weaknesses. May experience isolation in relationships due to intolerance or contempt for those deemed “weak.”
  
  
• Tips: Be resilient, but not rigid. Acknowledge your emotions and cope with them in positive ways. Seek support from others when you face challenges or difficulties. Be flexible and adaptable to change. Use your strengths and talents to overcome obstacles.
  
  
• Are you a Be Strong ? Answer these questions :
  • How do you feel when you have to deal with a crisis or a conflict situation? Do you prefer to have more challenge or less challenge in your work and life? How do you communicate your confidence and optimism to others? How do you handle people who have a different level of challenge than you?
  • How do you cope with stress or pressure? Do you manage it or ignore it? Do you seek help or handle it alone? How do you help others who are stressed or pressured? Do you support them or challenge them?
  • How do you deal with change or uncertainty? Do you embrace it or resist it? Do you see it as an opportunity or a threat? How do you adapt to new or unfamiliar situations? Do you learn new skills or rely on existing ones?

Hurry up ; Don’t linger, accelerate!

• Origin: “When will you start?” “Don’t waste time,” “Come on, pick up the pace; you’re too slow,” “At this rate, you’ll never get there,” “You’re not finished yet?”
  
  
• Meaning and Belief: In our fast-paced world, speed is essential. To accomplish anything, you must move swiftly; taking your time is a waste.
  
  
• Behavior: Prioritizes efficiency above all else. Time is a precious commodity not to be squandered on endless deliberations. Makes quick decisions, eliminates superfluous details, and works rapidly, often thriving under urgency. Gets bored when idle and may overcommit. Rarely has time and tends to interrupt others if they’re perceived as too slow.
  
  
• Consequences: Reactive, sometimes impatient, adept at finding solutions and simplifying processes to “save time,” risking spreading oneself too thin and leaving tasks incomplete. Often works independently, growing frustrated with hesitancy in others. Can be stressful for colleagues. Always in a hurry, occasionally leading to burnout.
  
  
• Tips: Be efficient, but not rushed. Plan ahead and manage your time wisely. Avoid distractions and procrastination. Slow down and pay attention to details. Breathe deeply and relax when you feel stressed or anxious.
  
  
• Are you a Hurry Up ? Answer these questions :
  • How do you feel when you have to work on a task or project that has a tight deadline or a lot of urgency? Do you prefer to have more speed or less speed in your work? How do you communicate your urgency and efficiency to others? How do you deal with people who have a different level of speed than you?
  • How do you prioritize your tasks or projects? Do you use a list or a calendar? Do you follow a plan or improvise? How do you handle interruptions or distractions? Do you ignore them or address them?
  • How do you balance your speed and quality? Do you sacrifice quality for speed or vice versa? Do you check your work for errors or trust your instincts? How do you handle mistakes or corrections? Do you fix them or move on?

How to Interact?

• Be perfect ; Strive for excellence: Offer reassurance, especially when things don’t go perfectly. Show understanding and attentiveness to their pursuit of perfection. Encourage them to differentiate between “doing” and “being.” They appreciate unconditional positive recognition but also need constructive criticism to improve.
  • Example : When two managers from different cultures have to work on a joint project. The manager from a high control culture (such as the US or Germany) might expect to have a clear role, a detailed plan, and a direct communication style. The manager from a low control culture (such as China or Brazil) might prefer to have a more ambiguous role, a flexible plan, and an indirect communication style. These differences might cause frustration or confusion if they are not addressed or resolved.
    
    
• Make pleased ; Have fun, Embrace the thrill: Acknowledge their kindness and reliability. Recognize their efforts for you, but also encourage them to prioritize their needs. Humor can be a useful tool in connecting with them. Give them space and time.
  • Example : When two partners from different cultures have to negotiate a deal. The partner from a Have Fun culture (such as Spain or Thailand) might expect to have a lot of personal contact, positive feedback, and trust-building. The partner from a lower affection culture (such as Switzerland or Russia) might prefer to have less personal contact, negative feedback, and contract-based trust. These differences might cause offense or distrust if they are not recognized or balanced.
    
    
• Make an effort ; Give it your all: Express your belief in their abilities to succeed and support their commitment to finishing what they start. Don’t take their self-devaluations personally, and avoid devaluing others.
  • Example : When two customers from different cultures have to evaluate a product or service. The customer from a high Make an Effort culture (such as Japan or Germany) might expect to have a lot of information, details, and quality. The customer from a low Make an Effort culture (such as Mexico or Australia) might prefer to have less information, more simplicity, and convenience. These differences might cause dissatisfaction or misalignment if they are not adjusted or accommodated.
    
    
• Be strong ; Harness your inner strength: Let them know you’ve noticed their consideration for others and their dependability. Use humor to bridge the gap. Understand their fear of rejection and their struggle to receive unconditional love. Be patient and provide space.
  • Example : When two employees from different cultures have to deal with a crisis situation. The employee from a high Be Strong culture (such as Israel or Nigeria) might expect to have a lot of initiative, autonomy, and improvisation. The employee from a low Be Strong culture (such as Singapore or Switzerland) might prefer to have more guidance, structure, and standardization. These differences might cause conflict or inefficiency if they are not harmonized or leveraged.
    
    
• Hurry up ; Don’t linger, accelerate ! : Commend their efficiency but also encourage them to occasionally take their time. Set clear boundaries regarding working hours and encourage them to balance speed with thoughtful deliberation.
  • Example : how the “Hurry Up” driver might affect cross-cultural communication is when two colleagues from different cultures have to collaborate on a task. The colleague from a high inclusion culture (such as Italy or India) might expect to have a lot of social interaction, small talk, and feedback. The colleague from a low inclusion culture (such as Japan or Finland) might prefer to have less social interaction, more focus on the task, and minimal feedback. These differences might cause misunderstanding or alienation if they are not acknowledged or accommodated.

Famous people with different Bern drivers

• Be perfect: Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple, who was known for his perfectionism, innovation, vision, and charisma. He revolutionized the fields of personal computing, music, and mobile devices. He was also passionate about his work and products, and often demanded the best from his employees and partners. He faced many challenges and failures in his career, but he never gave up and always bounced back stronger. He was also very secretive and protective of his personal life and health.
  
  
• Make pleased: Dalai Lama is the spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism and a global advocate for peace, compassion, and human rights. He has traveled extensively to teach Buddhist philosophy and promote interfaith dialogue. He was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989 for his nonviolent resistance to Chinese occupation of Tibet.
  
  
• Make an effort: Malala Yousafzai is a courageous activist who survived a gunshot wound to the head by the Taliban for advocating for girls’ education in Pakistan. She started her campaign when she was only 11 years old, and despite the threats and violence, she continued to speak out for her rights and those of millions of other girls. In 2014, she became the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, along with Kailash Satyarthi, for their struggle against the suppression of children and young people and for the right of all children to education. She is also the author of a best-selling memoir, a social media influencer, and a global leader against oppression.
  
  
• Be strong: Nelson Mandela, the former president of South Africa and Nobel Peace Prize laureate. He spent 27 years in prison for his fight against apartheid, a system of racial segregation and discrimination in South Africa. He endured harsh conditions and abuse, but never gave up his hope or principles. He emerged from prison as a leader of reconciliation and democracy, and became the first black president of South Africa in 1994. He also championed human rights, social justice, and peace around the world.
  
  
• Hurry up: Elon Musk, the founder and CEO of Tesla, SpaceX, Neuralink, and The Boring Company. He is a visionary entrepreneur and innovator who aims to transform various industries such as transportation, energy, space exploration, and brain-computer interface. He is known for his speed, efficiency, and productivity in launching new products and projects. He also has a sense of urgency and ambition to achieve his goals as soon as possible. He often works long hours and challenges himself and his teams to meet tight deadlines and high standards.

By using your bern drivers in a balanced and positive way, you can enhance your performance, motivation, and well-being in international negotiations. You can also build rapport, trust, and understanding with the other party, as well as avoid misunderstandings or conflicts.

Ultimately, it’s not about what you do or how you do it, but the driving purpose and the belief that inspires action, because it’s within you that true meaning and fulfillment are found, and where remarkable journeys of innovation, leadership, and lasting success truly begin.

In summary, How to use Bern drivers for effective cross-cultural communication

• Bern drivers are psychological motivators, in cross-cultural communication and negotiation.
• There are five main Bern drivers:
  • Be Perfect ; Emphasizing perfectionism
  • Make Pleased ; focusing on kindness and pleasing others
  • Make an Effort ; emphasizing relentless effort and persistence
  • Be Strong ; emphasizing projecting strength and self-sufficiency
  • Hurry Up ; prioritizing speed and efficiency.
• Balancing and positively channeling these drivers in international negotiations is emphasized to build rapport and avoid conflicts.
• The driving purpose and belief inspire action and contribute to meaningful journeys of innovation, leadership, and lasting success.
• Call-to-action :
  • 1- Identify your own dominant driver and its influence on your communication style.
  • How can you adapt your communication style to match others driver?
  • 2- Observe and analyze the communication styles of others based on their drivers.
  • How can you respond to their drivers in a way that builds rapport, trust, and understanding?
  • 3- Experiment with different drivers in different situations.
  • How does it change your perspective, attitude, and behavior? How does it affect the other person’s reaction?

“Your drivers are not your destiny, they are your choice.”

Anonymous